Unit 4 Loving Kindness

First let me say that I'm extremely thankful for this course being offered here. It's been extremely difficult for me to stay on task in my schooling but this has made me want to be better. This class has my mind in gear to understand that learning is power and can have immediate gratification (prior to the degree). The exercises help me every week since there's a new curve ball that life throughs out. I'm normally equiped to express my emotions when I've been wronged and feel hurt but my mind is challenged to portray love and kindness to my family. Not to others because I'm extremely generous in that area, it's my loved ones that get the bulk of bad stuff. To be honest I haven't figured out why but I've learned through exercises that the love and kindness should start with the family first. I remind myself of that for the past week so I can improve. It usually goes like this- how can I treat people I don't love better than the ones I do and see on a daily basis. That reminds me that I need work and that I sometimes take them for granted and I need to change.

Unit 3 Psychological and Spritual Aspects of Healing

This class gets better as we move forward

After reflecting on physical level of wellness I'd have to give myself a 4 total. I know it's pitiful but I'm being honest. I'm 138 lbs 5' -6"and have 3 children. Most people tell me I'm the perfect size daily, and as I remind them it doesn't mean I'm healthy. I have some of the poorest eating habits known to man. First I eat constarch (bad) it's a habit I picked up during one of my prenancies, sometimes I wash it down with ice cream but most often just straight constarch. I eat usually a fried chicken and fish sandwich with dessert, fries and a drink. I won't go into more details as I've probably turned some of your stomachs. Today was my birthday and everyone gave me food (seriously) it was hard but I had to reflect on that at some point. I have to get better and live for my children and myself. They need me and I don't want to die young. The idea that "skinny" people are healthy is one of my many pet pives. My goal is to eat better and like it. I won't cut out everything at once because I think the risk of relapsing is greater. What I've done is substitute fruit for my chocolate fetish. I've traded water for soda and coffee. Things like that, I'm not where I want to be but I am in a better place than when I began.

After reflecting on my psychological level of wellness I'd have to rate it a 6 maybe. I'm constantly reminding my self that I can't make everyone smile and though I might desire to I cantake care of everyone. These two things continue to be a hang up for me since I was a child. I tend to take on too much but I've developed a healthy habit to remind myself that I too fall short of perfect and I need help at times. I can help those that need help but I can't be the keeper of all.

After reflecting on my spritual level of wellness I'm incredibly overwelmed. I rate this at a level of 8 and get emotional just thinking of things I've been saved from. I come from a place of such viloence and terror, decption, hurt, and evil; but yet I'm still here. God has a purpose for me little ole me from the hood. He took time to visit my home and bless me and I don't deserve it I could never deserve the amount of blessings that have come into my life and I'm so greatful. I take every opportunity to bare witness and use my testimony. I was not taught to love because it was shameful yet I have a heart bigger than you couold imagine. My heart of stone has been transformed into a heart of flesh and proves that through Christ Jesus all things are possible. Did I mention that I wasn't raised in the church, how about that :) I work whenever I can in the church I'm usually there 4-5 times a week, wit hmy children and husband. In the midst of being a fulltime student, with both a fulltime and part time job, and raising 3 children who started as a teen parent, taking care of most of my family. I AM BLESSED. I used to pray as a child to be able to do this legally and not have to rely on ways I was taught and I'm just so thankful. I can always do more and my works are never enough but I hope that I've impacted just one person in my life to want to know Jesus Christ for themselves. Have I mentioned that I love this class (so cleansing)

Reflections

Listening to this has caused me to relax a whole lot. I had to continue to start the record ing because I would get so relaxed that I'd fall asleep. This excercise adds to my teaching of how to relax. I must admit that I'm currently in holistic theoropy to learn to relax my muscles. This recording reminded me of the power of suggestion and how influentual it can be. I would love ot be able to listen to something like this regularly and share it with my spouse. I think he too could benefit from the excerise. Well in case you read my other posts it looks like I may have it this time :)

Today has been extremely hectic I'm at risk for loosing another job within 3 years. I'm so not stressing because my faith is strong and each let down has been a larger promotion. Times do get trying.